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Pokémon Quartz #20



‘kay. 


You own the bridge? That’s cool, I guess…


You don’t look so “X-Treme” to me…


Fakemites are immune to UNHOLYbear’s charms. 


Not to this, however. 



Damn straight!


So it worked then. 


You are weak, I don’t want to be like you. 


I like free stuff. 


DAMN!


I don’t think that I am… 


I just want to skate in peace. 


Err… weren’t you on skates a moment ago?


UNHOLYbear’s going to eat you for lunch.

Then she’ll have to have an invasive surgery to have you removed, because you will almost definitely cause major internal damage. 


See above.


Ah… a change of pace. 


I’m not much into this change in pace. 



You are right to run from Roco.



Are there fabulous prizes!?

I like fabulous prizes.

A lot.

I also like cookies.


It’s a cave.

Moving on…



The lake is actually pretty damn uninteresting…


What is a ‘whell’?

Seriously? What the hell is wrong with people in this region?


Again with the naming, Baro…


Maybe the most confrontations with random people in Corna…?


‘kay.


Why is that, mysterious stranger?


Oh… so we’re battling…


ohai thar Kiwi-thing. 



I wouldn’t dream of it, stranger.


I get bored of it. 


Esther is an old person’s name. 



Well you’d better get used to it, you ridiculously weak person you.


I can’t dispute it.

I mean, literally, I cannot. I have no knowledge of your skating skills, absolutely none.


For how long, and with what!?

I see no cameras. 


But… I’m a human… 



What is it that you understand?



Should I loosen my whells too?


Haven’t I made a comment on this subject before?


Did Baro touch you!?



I’m getting a bad feeling about this conversation… 


‘Ejm’!?




Ugh… I was right… It’s them.


Well, I wouldn’t really worry. They just want to inflate the sun to power up Electric-types, somehow… The threat level is pretty negligible at this point. 

They’re still annoying ****s, though.


Ahh… the Brown Hills, the browniest of all hills. 



You’re in the negative for X-tremeness right about now.


ohai thar Fakemite.


Damn the molemen, I suppose?

Well they are jerks, so I guess I will damn them! 

DAMN YOU MOLEMEN!


…the hell?

Seriously… Why the hell would you build this expensive skate path at all!? Purple City is, LITERALLY, just a line of trees away!

Wait…

I see now…

Corna… is a capitalist state!

It makes sense, completely! The Cornian government is blocking off the northern half of the continent from those who can’t pay their exorbitant fees for Skates so they can use their ‘Skate Path’… Damn them…

Wait! That means that Vin and whatshisface are working for the government!

Well I guess before I head to the Brown Hills I should backtrack and see if I missed anything…


WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-


No… don’t do it.


Oh god! I can’t stop it!


Oh, please please be at least half as awesome as Ursaring! PLEASE!


PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE –



I hate you, Corna.


Her new form hasn’t interfered with her charms… somehow.



**** NO!

**** NO!

**** NO!

**** NO!

**** NO!

Did you hear me, Baro!? I said “**** NO!”!


Hey look, a path back to Pinkranite… I guess I could see if Ba-Chan has any reward for me…


Just a quick in and out…


Yes I have… and I was lost in that godforsaken cave for ****ing weeks!

You owe me big time.


…the hell?


Oh I see… it’s a pun.

[sarcasm]It isn’t like we’ve seen any others so far.[/sarcasm]


I don’t think you distribute to other regions, so I call ********.


First of all: I haven’t seen any of your products that work as advertised, remember that Ghost Scope that wasn’t a Ghost Scope and can also inflate the sun, somehow? Yeah… IT DIDN’T ****ING WORK!

Secondly: **** Jose, **** him.


You don’t have a clue how wrong you are, do you?


And prove how wrong you are? Nah, maybe later though.

I guess we’ll head back to the Brown Hills by sea.


…or maybe not?


I’m pretty sure there was a path leading to Seablue from here…


Now we’re talkin’.

(Note: I realize now that I could’ve just taken the cave, but it didn’t occur to me at the time… So shut up and leave me alone. )


ohai thar Monument to Capitalism. 


TO THE BROWN HILLS!


I don’t have anything to start a fire… 

I’m cold.


That isn’t regulation gear, is it?




I don’t think you can learn that by battling someone… Can you?


Thanks for the useless tips, lady!


Lookie! It’s a moleman in his natural habitat… isn’t he so serene, and… molemany?


Is it the secret of how to be jerks?



Why not? 


I’ve beaten every moleman I’ve been confronted with, but you could be the first? (Not likely. )


You’re going to have four underleveled Pokemon, aren’t you?


He did… 


Closer to fifth actually, but who’s counting?


‘kay.



I am slightly surprised!


That is… a very creepy threat… very.


You want to take my honor!?

Rapist. 


Oh god! “JA”! It’s an agent of Baro!

He must be punished! 


A large, sleeping, and possibly snoring mammal… quite the ninja. 


He did, at that.


Go away, rapist. >:|



I doubt it, burly man.


Told you. 


‘kay. 


I think you’re underestimating my abominations. 


ohai thar Hungry Hungry Hippo.


Damn. 


TEH-PRO is a professional. 




Be sure to tell me your secret first. 








Oh… that’s nice, I suppose… I was kind of hoping for some top secret information or something… 



Oh you crafty molemen…

(Note: If you didn’t see I tried to take a step forward… it failed.)

I guess I’ll check out the moleman’s treasure. 



Damn…

ONWARD THEN!


HELL NO! END THE CALL, END IT I SAY!


STOP IT PHONE! IT IS NOT OKAY, IT WILL NEVER BE OKAY!



Why does my phone hate me so? 


Oh god, are you coming here!?


Phew… And this thing has a radio?



My phone confuses me… 



I’m getting that bad feeling again…


DAMN.

You know what? The names Amber and Ambrosio are each one letter shy of having Baro hidden in them… I sure hope it’s a coincidence… 



CAPITALIZING random words IS fun, ISN’T it?


Oh god… they’re still trying to inflate the sun?



By who!?



Well, at least that’s over wi-


Oh yeah… her.


Sadly. 



Why did she have to say ‘goodbay’? Quite the conundrum…


Oh, damnit… My ears are bleeding again… Ran’s voice’ll do that to you.

I guess I’ll continue once my ears heal a little. 

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