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Pokémon Quartz #36


I’m on a bridge!

…again…



What… what are you collecting them for, exactly? 



Not for their strength, apparently.



Definitely not for their strength.


Their weakness brought you bad luck, I think…


Bestiality is not okay!


It’s quite nice of the Cornians to drop gold for me. 


I wonder what could be in this temple…? 


Little girls, or so it would seem. 


My-



I would have said something to that effect too… 


Mind what, you crazy little girl?





And this concerns you how?





Ah, so it’s the Marijuana Pokemon then. 



HOW COULD HE STEAL THE VERY, VERY, IMPORTANT EGG THAT YOU KNOW IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE IT IS ALL CAPS.



Will they eat it or something…? You haven’t elaborated very well, crazy girl.



Err… why didn’t the thief just take that too?



Good to know, I guess? 


Perha-


HOLY F***! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENI-


I think that I worded it more eloquently. 


Uh?



I don’t know what ‘Psichic powers’ entail… but… I doubt it.




EXCITING STAIR ACTION!

Shut up…


Oh god, my retinas!


There is absolutely not a star motif in this temple.

Most definitely not… 



Fitting, I suppose… 

You’d think that Band Ambar would want this…


Hmm… interesting.


Now that’s just crazy!


That altar-pedestally thing cannot be important. 




Does the fourth wall even exist anymore?



Those Cornians and their damn dirty jokes… 



Pornography… just plain pornography.

I’m just f***ing with you guys… but there’s a good chance that it is porn… this is Corna, after all.


Welp… seems like I’m not going any farther in here.


The sun is out again! 


Damn you, and your sorcerous weather, Corna… 



Is it that Hoola dancing thing?

And I’m pretty sure that R. Nixon is more aggressive.


I can… I can see its organs…



Thank you R. Nixon. 


You are most perceptive… 


I still doubt that your Pokemon is the most aggressive… 


It appears to be a dead end!

Time to CONSULT THE MAP!

Sorry about that…


So I have to head south to get to-


F***!

Alright… I guess I’ll try the water? 




I’m riding a freaking dragon. 


I SOLVED THE PUZZLE!

It’s a compulsion, really… o.o


I’m hoping that the grass forming a face is just a coincidence…

…definitely not Baro screwing with my mind. 


You might want to run, there’s a guy back the way I came who wants you…


Mine are stronger.



Much stronger, apparently.


It was. 


It’s almost like the Captain Obvious Competition is Corna’s ‘American Idol’. 

They must not get Fox…


I still don’t understand why I have to cut down trees to get by them…


They all lie in wait for me… 


No.


Nope.


It most definitely did not.


^Still not clever…


Oh look… it’s that vaguely plant-like thing.


Nothing that a little RAGE OF THE DRAGON cannot fix.

I apologize, once again…


Not much better… 


This guy’s going to go down pretty easily too. 




No comment.




Hell no.


NOT IN A F***ING THOUSAND YEARS.


I’ll just help myself… 


The people living here are insane… “Why build a path when you can build a pointless bridge!?” they cry… then they do. 


I’m onto you, ninja… 


Hmm… down…


…or right…?


Down looks more interesting.


Why aren’t you challenging me, Nurse Ham-Legs?



In the middle of the jungle? 


That would be great. 


B****.


I see that your legs are as hammy as ever…


That thing looks like a sack of potatoes…


Poor thing… 


At least it won’t have to suffer anymore…


Well you don’t know how to joke properly, then. Because if you had done it right we would both be laughing. 



You’re a horrible nurse, you know that?


I wonder what’s on this strange rock…? 



Onwards! 


Aww… it’s Natu!

If Natu were stepped on then released into the wild…


I’m just that good…



HARDY HARR HARR! FOOLISH BIRDS WITH YOUR SILLY RELIGION!

But really… at this moment I believe that Baro’s either a raging atheist… or a raging Christian… at a certain point the line between the two sort of blurs and it all sounds the same. 


WHAT DO WE NAME IT!?

…last time, I promise…

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