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Pokémon Quartz #38


What are those creepy little girls doing, I wonder…

And shouldn’t they be on the road?



How can they be battling while not on the road!?


Oh god… 

I think that that is the root of my insanity…




That’s not very pleasant… 

…not in the least.


Uh-oh… this can’t end well…


I guess I’m some sort of prophet, eh? 



Come on Brrrd!


And that is why Brrrd is awesome. 


Apparently I’m tough enough to go on the White Road, unlike you two. 



You guys have a long way to go before you can get onto the White Road. 


This is why Sever’s must be gotten rid of while young…



You know what happens. 

And then a wild encounter:

I guess I had better catch-


-or that… Yeah. That’s what I wanted to do.

I caught this one, though:

ohai thar Hindu-dog




This is an obscure reference that only one of the readers will get. 

And I don’t think it’s appropriate to post on a Pokemon forum. XD


The Cornians definitely don’t know how to build a road…


I guess I had better…


LOCK IT AWAY FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!




Really… what sort of thing kicks anything that approaches then steals their nails?


Oh I see what you were going for…

Still horrible road-building, though.


Is it a Charmander!?

I would murder for a Charmander.


That isn’t a Charmander…


You think you’ve won… eh?


Well there.


God I’m immature.



But you do find Coccnuto… 


WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!?

I’d love to see one of those…



I don’t really think that ‘different’ even begins to cover what Cornian Pokemon are like… 


Hmmm… I can’t remember what type you are… 



Well… in that case:


BRRRD TO THE RESCUE! 


I… suppose? 


You are very good at repeating yourself, did you know that?


We leave the White Road behind only to come to the…

FLOWER ROAD.

Or some such…


Goddamn it, Baro…


I bet that there is no seafoam…


Ugh… I guess I had better go back and deal with Band Ambar… 


Down we go! 


Hey… I just noticed the ‘white’ theme in this area… 


Who doesn’t love a random building in the middle of a lake? 



This is the area I couldn’t reach earlier, I s’pose.



I love this place. 



You make me laugh…

I’m the best. 


Jugglers are truly gods among me. 



I believe that I’ve just proved something.



I’m sure that you’re great at ‘jugglering’, Cameron. 


Oh look, it’s Imakuni. 


I thought that I was your friend?




And down they go. 


Oh you silly goose, I am very funny.

I’m also sane, unlike most Cornians.



Why not? \__/

Apparently Baro can be a Professor…

Oh, and I did this:


I don’t know how

…but it’s still awesome. 


Now time to explore this ‘Marble Castle’. 



Who’s grunting!? 


Where did I get this key?

Did… did someone slip it into my pocket…?



Apparently the door if communist…

I guess that explains why Team Ambar is so interested in it…


Kind of dingy… Doesn’t really scream ‘castle’ to me. 


Is this supposed to be a statue… or a pillar… or what? 


Imakuni? 


Not very ‘buffony’… 



But where do those keys come from?


Oh yay, Pokemon I’ve seen before… 

…and one that looks like a penis, at that…


I guess so…


They are called ‘dungeons’ for a reason.




I guess I’m kind of obligated to go down to the dungeons now…


Apparently the only way to go down in this castle is to go up…



None of you guys understand what a dungeon is, do you?

Hint: They’re used to imprison crazed murderers and rapists…


I don’t have a clue, you odd man you.




Boy… you are going to be horribly disappointed. 


FEMALE OSOE MUST DIE! 


See?


You guys…

…you look more like brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend…

Corna sinks lower and lower each day.



You guys have bigger problems than this dare… like the children.



That makes no sense…



Awww… 



That’s more like it. 


I’ll consider it… 


The fact that there are any Pokemon in this castle is kind of disturbing…


This depresses me…


Snorlax…?


Hooker tricks?


Oh… those kind of tricks…

Of course… 


Your English is spectular.


Do you mean magic as in ‘hallucinogenic herbs’?

I think it is so.


Fork in the path! 


First we head right! 


Oh god I forgot how much this hurt…


Not worth it a bit. 


Hopefully this way will have a better end to it… 



F***. 


What do you know! My ass is numb. 


I guess we found the passage to the dungeon…


There is something seriously wrong with this castle… Why the hell is there fog in the dungeon? 


What.

The.

F***.



That helps very little. 


How else do you nickname a sewing Pokemon, seriously?


Dungeons are 90% corridor in Corna…


Please don’t let this cell be that of a rapist…


That was a pleasant surprise. 


That… not so much…


I meant to do that… 



Oh god! That’s horrible!

You weren’t a rapist child, were you…?




Wait… what? 

Cornians literally say ‘n00b’… and they lock children away for being such?

They should all be down here, in that case.


I suppose you should do whatever makes you happy… 


As long as you never say ‘BTW’ again. 



So… the mountain was formed with a mine…? 

Sounds a little fishy to me.





So… how did they do this?

Hopefully it wasn’t that Baro-Sorcerer…


The Chaos Dragon God.

…or so I hear.


The Chaos Dragon God wasn’t intimidated by a cane?

Odd. 



So… did the Pokemon blessing the Cane have anything to do with that? 



Well your elders said stuff that didn’t make a lot of sense. 


Oh yeah!

That’s why I’m here…


Don’t play coy with me, you Russian business-mechanic… You know exactly who I am.


No one can tell me what to do, and you should know that by now. 



Brrrd is the word. 




I was severely tempted to hit this bastard… 


Screw you guys…


You’re no fair…


THAT is great, though I wonder what THAT is, though? I would love to know what THAT is…


FINA-F****ING-LY!


And you always swear when I beat you…


We’ll see… we will see…


Hi.



Only half of them remembered me… 




Was that even supposed to make sense?


‘kay. 


‘Kusoo’?



I don’t think you understand the quote, sir… 


Yeah, the ‘Chaos God’… 



People should really stop letting me get my hands on priceless artifacts… 



So according to Cornian Physics if two things are made at the exact same time they cancel each other out… 

I guess I’ll check the upper levels before leaving. 



I wouldn’t be very comfortable living here… what with the wild Pokemon, random fog, and rapist children…


Guess what happened?


It would seem so.


If it’s magical it has to do with hallucinogenic drugs… or Baro…

…neither of which I want any part in.

Especially in Corna. 


Stuff. 


I think you’re wrong there… I’ve seen like three different species here… 


It’s a grass owl? 


That thing will haunt me for the rest of my hopefully short life.

Of course, Steven doesn’t know he’ll live long enough to move to Toraxabagaboop to be Mark’s mentor…


How was it weird…? Other than your horrifying Pokemon, it was just a standard asskicking.


I hadn’t noticed. 




Oh… my Abominable Army should make you very afraid.

Very afraid indeed.


Wait, what?


Again… you should be afraid of everything in Corna that lurks in the shadows…



Probably all of the drugs wafting out from the castle. 



Sweet.


It’s more likely to be the drugs…



Nice, I guess. 


I bet it’s very messy on top. 


I’ll have to keep an eye out, then…



Ass’ still numb! 





What kind of castle has logs just laying around? 


I guess that next time I’ll go… somewhere?

Probably.

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