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Pokémon Quartz #40


Thin paths! 


Sewer bridges. 


I’m hopping off of a dragon… I’m sure it looks pretty badass. 


Why must you Russian business-mechanics continue to antagonize me… 

You know exactly who I am.


I want to make you suffer for being so goddamned annoying.


Wouldn’t that make this the perfect time to infiltrate this place, then? 


No take-backs! I’m coming back later!

Oh I’m so very clever.


Could… could you rephrase that, maybe?


I think I just found my way out of here.



You think I don’t remember towns I’ve been to before?

You guys are just insane, you know that?


I’m going to get that sub.

BUT FIRST: RANDOM MEANDERING!



Nice to see that you’re a follower and not a leader…

I could use more followers…


Well good luck with that, I suppose.

Who cares about contests, really?


Oh god… it’s the truck.

I’m afraid…



As long as it stays timid… 


Yes. Let us see.



That is wondrous.


Couldn’t I just… maybe toss a Pokeball into the back of the truck?


Screw you, truck.


Because I would have never been able to guess that. 




Well you don’t have a submarine, do you?



Doesn’t everyone love reading signs that present obvious information? 



I don’t think that is possible…





Yeah. I’m still pretty damned sure that berries need soil to grow.

Moron.


Yeah… I don’t care. 


I guess as long as I am meandering…


God… it is going to take all of my willpower to get past this…



I doubt that any amount of counseling can help a person with that much exposure to Baro artwork…


Oh god… he just said that Baro’s immortal! 


Oh thank god… something not made by Baro…



I’ll take those ******* Old Cornians any day over Baro. 


You can’t mean that about a painting by Baro… 


Is this name even supposed to make sense?


Oh it’s the Chaos Dragon God Guy…

Yay?


It looks like all of the paintings are going to be named with a random noun and a concept…


So… Baro wants to turn all of the mountains blue?


OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD



Yeah… I wouldn’t call anything made by Baro ‘fine arts’. 




Because it might be symbolic, or some such? 

Or it could be another random name.



Sadly ONIBARO murdered NICEBARO long ago…


Don’t. Look. Directly. At. It.


That’s an odd fetish… 



Nothing matters for captives of Baro except for the sweet release of death…


Oh I have some ‘suggestions’ for you.

Like burn all of the artwork…



Sadly. 


You’d be wrong. I am the mailman. AND NOTHING ELSE.


Not even a little. Especially not ones made by Baro.



Yeah… I’m never coming back.


Hmmm…

One more thing left to do before I head to Seablue…


SCREW YOU CAT!

Alright… I’m ready to go now.


Fly Yahtzee, fly! 


Tell me that was not badass.


I’m going to steal that submarine! 



So… he made a functional submarine?

That’s never happened before, right?



Oh we shall see about that…

WE SHALL SEE. 



You do realize that the camera in the other direction, right? 


You mean Vin and Kuliocha?


Definitely not.

This place is full of morons.



Yep. They’re also employees of the capitalist state. 


You’re supporting the evil government! 


Well… that was just awkward for everyone, Professor Rape… 


Funky and xtreme? Surely not!


…the hell?

What is ‘modern attempt’ supposed to mean?



Good.

Now I can take the submarine with no cameras around. 



If you’re rusty, Professor Rape, that is your problem.


That’s an odd way to phrase it. 


That’s why I’m here. 



Could you take me back to Kanto, too!? :shocked


HOLY ****!



Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure that it will be ‘aaaaalll right’?

Because I’m not convinced.


Oh god! Someone’s stealing the submarine I was going to steal! 



SURPRISE ALL AROUND! 


I know exactly who it is. 


God… can’t even get it right.


I should have just pushed my way in… 




Yeah. How dare they steal the submarine that I wanted! 


Err… why am I facing the wall? 


It seems like Professor Rape is shooting for Captain Obvious as well…


They will suffer


I know I hate them all… but at least Amber remembers my name.







Well screw them. 

But hey… I was invited to return to their secret headquarters.


I think there’s something… off about Professor Rape’s relationship with his submarine…


Yeah… I’m not going to tell you and take the chance of you following.

It’s my submarine. 



You’re dropping an awful lot of hints for someone who doesn’t know where they are…


B****.

I guess I’ll head off to Band Ambar’s base now. 


After I replenish my supplies, that is…



I suppose so? 


OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD


OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD


It’s gotten a whole lot worse for me. 


No. I came here purposely seeking out my insane stalker

God…



I’ve already been there…

Now when will you go away…?


IF IT WILL MAKE YOU LEAVE!



Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over ma-

Awww…



Let’s just see how this turns out… 




But not Super Effective enough.


See! 


You still haven’t evolved that thing!? 

Sorry… but that’s just pathetic.



Oh the joys of drowning dinosaurs. 



Oh I remember you… 

…Splash…


Shouldn’t he have evolved too?


I still don’t know how it’s possible… but it’s still awesome.


I thought that our deal was that you would leave


She did just say ‘pokes’


You’ll be there alone too.


Anything to put distance between you and Baro… 


Oh whatever shall I do with my Surfing Dragon…?


Oh god… 

She just flew away… She can go anywhere now… 

I’m just going to sit here an sob a little…

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