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Pokémon Quartz #41


Come on Steven, weeping isn’t doing anything for you! She could come back at any moment, it’s best to go where there will be witnesses…


Err… usually people don’t hang around by the entrance to a big store. 



You know what the best remedy for that is?

LEVEL THE DAMN THING UP!


You wouldn’t last five seconds against Yahtzee.

Well… not much can but the point still stands.


I don’t think Pokemon would understand the concept of a lottery…



Shouldn’t it be called the “Human Lottery”, or something, then?



Oh… so that’s why it’s called that… 


It’s not like I have anything better to do…


I want the winning ticket, please.




It can’t be that hard…  There is only one.


Of course not… all of Corna is against me… Even randomized lotteries.


I don’t think so. 

I can only take so much disappointment, and being in Corna alone nearly fills up that quota…


MUST EVERYTHING IN CORNA HAVE AN ACRONYM!


Wait… didn’t I see an elevator here? 



…the hell, man? You have the energy to walk here, but not enough to walk over to the elevator and push a goddamned button?

In Corna fat people=gelatinous masses that cannot move, period.


So in Corna it’s expected that no one but trainers will need to buy things?


F*** those. Dolls of Cornian Pokemon are pure nightmare fuel.

They’re also not very masculine.


Imakuni?


I hope you’re Imakuni, because I don’t think my fragile mind could take doppelgangers on top of everything else. 


Shopping spree, ahoy! 


Now… I think there is a certain invitation from a certain sewer dweller that I must accept. 


I’m starting to think that this isn’t a sewer at all… 

What with all of the clear water, and the fact that it isn’t connected in any way whatsoever with the city…


Aww… no one’s here to greet me… 



Ahh… it wouldn’t be the secret headquarters of an evil organization without vague machines with no discernible purpose.


Then why aren’t you guys waiting for me by the entrance?


Isn’t the floor a sickly green color? 


Are those teeth, or tumors?


No matter, it’s gone forever.


That too. 


Damn, stupid Russian business-mechanic!!!!

Two can play at the insult game.


Apparently your boss doesn’t consider me tough enough to freaking post guards at the entrance.


Free crap! 


THE ITEMS ARE REBELLING, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!


Oh… it’s just a hedgehog… that looks absolutely nothing like a damn Pokeball.

What the hell, Corna, seriously?


Now you look like a Pokeball. 



Not like Sonic the Hedgehog in the least.

Because it’s genderless.


Thanks… err…

…err…

…whoever came up with the name…

It’s been a while, I can’t remember, and am too lazy to check the LPG.


I’m kind of interested in how you disguised a spiky hedgehog as a Pokeball. 


Oh god… this guy is one of those trainers that has a bunch of the same weak Pokemon…



Long story short: He was.


It’s dead… Isn’t it?



It was boring and tedious, so no.



THEN WHY WEREN’T YOU WAITING BY THE ENTRANCE!?

Freaking Cornians…


But of course too far in to have a real chance of stopping me. 


Oh god… those eyes. 

He sees all of my dark secrets…


Oh, R. Nixon, I could kiss you!

If you weren’t a flesh-devouring dragon that can command electricity, that is…



I think even the average Cornian would have trouble deciphering this guy.


So… I guess living in the sewers erodes your eyesight?


Whatever, I’m off to heal at the Pokemon Center, first.



But not you, apparently.


Is that a carpet? What sort of sewer has carpets?

I tell you… this region…


Hmm…





Screw that ****, I’ll go back later.



Insulting the one who’s been defeating your evil organization time and time again is not the smartest idea…




Even Russian business-mechanics aspire to the lofty position of Captain Obvious…


Oh, I think not. 



God… Musclelc are so goddamned massive, aren’t they?


Nothing that Roco can’t handle, though. 


Whirlwind is a cheap move. 


No one wakes Yahtzee from his naps without consequence. NO ONE.


I think this guy has a real shot of winning…




If you guys take my submarine… I swear I’ll…


Hmm… I missed this one… 


What th-


Credit goes to Daedalus – Screw you man, you’re getting the credit!

OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD


All of that and I haven’t moved an inch!?

I hate this place. This must be where that water back in that cave in the jungle ends up…


Please don’t be like the last tile… 


Oh thank god… no horrible images… just a model ship… in the sewers of course.


Hmm…



It doesn’t look like anyone’s around. 


Screw you Corna, just… just screw you.


I should stop doing that…


Hmm… I wonder…


Damn magic tiles. 

They’re probably the work of that damned sorcerer, Baro…


I don’t owe you anything… I’m feeling generous, though. So I’ll give you one.


Foresight… truly the king of attacks.



I guess I was mistaken. 


So he’s a poet now? 


I don’t think it was.

Not even a little.

Seriously.

I would be ashamed to have you as a member of my evil organization.

Really… you used freaking Foresight! A move that’s only useful when used on Ghost types.

God… you sicken me.


You should quit while you’re behind.



Don’t question free chunks of gold. 


I guess I’ll try this again…


think that I moved… 

What kind of twisted sewer is this?


WHY MUST ALL OF THESE ROOMS LOOK ALIKE!


Oh thank god… I was starting to get some horrifying claustrophobia.



WHY CAN’T YOU BE A MAGIC BAG LIKE THE ONES THEY HAVE IN SINNOH!?


Tossin’ items I’ll never use for some that I will. 


Looks like this is all that’s left, I guess…


SURPRISE!


You mean that I have to walk over to you? 

Quite the motivation these guys have, apparently…


It is.



Yeah… fighting my way to the deepest part of your secret base is avoiding you…

Moron.


She’s leaving you behind, isn’t she?


Just keep telling yourself that. 


BATTLE TIME!




It really was that easy.


Ohoho, Steven likes. 


Hmm…


Yep.


Screw that. 



Even when paralyzed TEH-PRO is a professional. 


I haven’t a goddamn clue what that is supposed to be based on. 


Damn.


What the hell, two of them?


F*** you man, just f*** you! 



Freaking finally.

(NOTE: He also used a Max Revive trying to heal his last Pokemon there, though it didn’t help at all. I missed the screenshot, though…)


Don’t say that! 


Hey! Don’t insult my submarine like that!


When I find you, you will suffer for this, Amber! 




Oh god… not this chaos dragon god crap again… 


I’m not sad…

I am filled with RAGE. HORRIBLE MURDEROUS RAGE.




Now I have to go and find my damn submarine. 

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