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Pokémon Raptor #5


I’m going east because the wide path beckons me forth…


Are… are we just dropping the ‘0’s now? 


Aww… it’s a little pink puffball. 


That isn’t very nice. 


Why must you be so cruel, puffball?


I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT GENDER YOU ARE!


I’m not catching you until you play fair. 


Aww… look at the little mutant. 


This’ll just be our little secret… right?


You’re awfully familiar…



Thank you Chemistry. 


That thing doesn’t not look at all capable of gliding. 


I don’t know why you wanted me to name it this, Poe, but I did. 


It’s almost as if the asskick is just oozing from your exoskeleton.



I can’t risk knocking him out. 

And it payed off:


MEGATRON! 

Training montage:




Who needs Tackle when you have an attack that can hit five times. 


The battle of the century…


…has just concluded. 


I can still sell it, I suppose.


I guess the ‘0’s are all gone. 

I also caught a few things:


Almost a paradox if you think about it. 



Original names! (Thanks to mattman for both this and the previous one.)


Shouldn’t you be blocking paths, Sudowoodo?



(I think it’s clever… )

Hmm… 

I wonder if I should use you, TEH-TREE…


Sorry, TEH-TREE, the voices in my head tell me that “Steel pwnz Rock!” and “STEEL TYPES RULE!”…



I don’t know how but it does.


Aww… isn’t that sweet…


…it’s too bad that I’m going to kick your ass. 

What kind of name is ‘Kristova’?


It was inevitable.


Very much so. 


Very clear.


Useful stuff! 





Nice, I guess… 


Just doesn’t seem like their natural habitat, does it?


That kids going to challenge me when I walk toward that item, I bet…



You’ll be sold the first chance I get. 


I guess he’s nearsighted, then? 

And what do you mean by ‘basis’?


His hat just changed color…




It’s a pipe dream, kid. 


This tree looks odd… 



Who just said that…?



Oh yeah…



That’s more like it, Hooters. 


Oh yeah… no Pokeballs… 


Your death will strengthen MEGATRON, I suppose. 



Odd name… 

Do they think that they’re the only ones who can see the moon?



B***…


This makes up for that mean lady. 


Maybe this will be a kindly grandfather figure? 



You implied that by saying it was forbidden…

…jerk.


Maybe the southern part of the town will be more friendly…?






I think you are a very insane human being.



They do think that they are the only ones who can see the moon. 





He doesn’t need to love me, just obey


Poor deluded woman…


Well, I’m done with this town… 


Oh my god! It’s like a nightmare walking!

KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT


Good job, Hooters… 


That he did not.


Hopefully this way the people won’t be as mean…


So the “0”s are definitely gone now…

Probably.


BRING IT ON! 



Err… maybe the next Pokemon will be better?



Who says that? I certainly have never heard anyone – outside of an after-school special – say anything like that… 


Who uses ‘fave’ in conversation…? Really?


TILEERRORTILEERRORTILEERRORTILEERRORTILEERRORTILEERRORTILEERROR

tile error


Who am I to question very good things when they happen…


Well hello there, talking tree…

I’m on to you…


God… Pikachu look anorexic now, doesn’t he?



Oh, you were serious!?





Who’s weak now? 


And I knew you were weak.


It’s funner to crush the dreams of little girls, thank you very much.


Seems like my internal GPS is functioning correctly…

I wonder who installed it, though…


It has poor self-esteem, though… 


Hooters is pretty cool, and that Skarmory was pretty badass, the others I’ve seen so far aren’t that great. 


Fran… you look like a man.

It’s fun to rhyme.


Did it ever?


I’ll leave you to your business, then.


I sense disappointment in my future…



Creepy, to say the least…


But I want that item… 


If I had any Pokeballs, I might have caught you. 


Those exclamation points are a real epidemic…


No, I’m an expert in kicking ass.


Kurt Cobain!?


Definitely not. Kurt Cobain wouldn’t use a Pikachu…



Did you need to point out your failure?


Thanks, I guess…? 



This is the first person I’ve ever seen in one of these buildings.


Err…

I’m afraid to say no…



Yippee… now all of the world’s Magikarp are within my grasp. 

At this point I decided to go and reward those who guessed correctly for the last gym battle:


His friends call him “Thing One”.



I had far too much fun naming this one.



Your name is too long.



Before you get excited about having a Skarmory named after you think about this: in lieu of you, a small owl is being used. Just think about that for a minute or two…


I guess I’m here. 


Surely not everyone! 


Hmmm… 



Probably because it’s common sense, you little moron.



Sounds interesting… 

…and maybe a little sexy…


Look at them fancy stairs. 



I guess… if I have to.



Thanks for repeating what’s on the sign, lady… 



Hmmm…


Well I am a cool trainer…





It was an obvious choice.



Still very obvious choices.




‘kay.



I guess you’ll have to find out, then? 



You guys love repeating things said on signs, don’t you? 




Thanks for the tip. 


It’s not one of those old fashioned Supermarts, it’s a Hypermart, though it’s even more important because it’s CAPITALIZED.



Hmmm… what about this ‘Gym 0’?


Well you’re useless, then. 


You’re a crappy parent then… 


They talk to me…



That doesn’t sound scientifically sound… 

And you can’t explain the talking?



I think that I have no money. 


BESTIALITY IS NOT OKAY!


This doesn’t look much like a factory… 


Looks more like a lab… 




Apparently they’re making Pokeballs here… 



I guess you guys aren’t much for complicated names, eh?


Hmmm… there’s something fishy here… 

Or something perfectly normal, I’m not too experienced with lab-factories.


Everyone likes big machines. 




Good for it, then…


What’s that?


[Missed a screen, but he said something to the effect of: “I’d better go tell them…”]


What an odd fellow…


Jerk. 


I can get to the ‘secret’ area now. 


I smell plot…

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