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Pokémon Quartz #46


I can’t even remember where I am, it was a long ni-


Oh yeah… this place.


…with all of the… err… mud. Lovely.


How do you walf over the… err… mud?





I have nothing to add to this, his logic is sound.

Sound as in moronic as all hell.


What.


Then why did you say it, you odd woman?


I would have never figured that out on my own.


Bloody hell these houses are small. Do the inhabitants of this island live in TARDIS’?


Err… talking in the third person are we?



Is it a flying island? If so, I’d like to hitch a ride…


A more fitting name I cannot fathom.


As should ever member of the Westboro Baptist Church, but we can’t have everything we want.


So… it always stays in the same place? Not so weird if you ask me…


Itsjustmuditsjustmuditsjustmuditsjustmuditsjustmuditsjustmuditsjustmud…


ITSJUSTMUDITSJUSTMUDITSJUSTMUDITSJUSTMUDITSJUSTMUDITSJUSTMUDITSJUSTMUD!


Oh thank god, a sterilized building.



I… am?

I dunno.



Alright…?


That’s quite a lot of stairs for such a small building.


…quite a lot more than I expected.


Jesus hell how long have I been down here?


OH COME ON! HOW FAR CAN THIS ONE BUILDING POSSIBLY GO DOWN?


…very far apparently.


Oh thank god another human being.


It’s morning? Holy crap I’ve been here all night!


Wait, what? So it’s only been a few hours?




I can sympathize, but that doesn’t excuse you screwing with me.


Oh yay, more of this…


…or possibly not!


And this room couldn’t be above ground because…?


I don’t even know anymore.


…please don’t say it that way, you’re creepy enough as it is living down here.


I guess that… could make up for it, so long as it isn’t a Cornian Pokemon.


Hmmm…



Err… that’s an odd name.


I once knew a kid named Sheldon, I didn’t much care for him.


And by process of elimation it looks like we have our winner.


Everyone told me that I was though… freaking Cornians and their lies.


GWAH!?

Well I guess we should take a look at this new Pokemo-


A pool of orange liquid with a pipe in it. What. The. Hell.


At least you won’t be lonely, you… thing.







Have I ever mentioned that I don’t much care for the recycled dialog? Because I don’t. At all.



Well I guess it’s off to sea again.

It’s better than dealing with the Russian business-mechanics in any case.


This creek is absolutely filthy.


WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-


Awww…


I… don’t even… what is that thing even supposed to represent?

Other than my nightmares, that is.


The more horrifying they are the quicker I get rid of them.


I’M NOT EVEN TOUCHING YOU!


And no one else does that. Yep, it’s just you, you silly lady.


Holy crap. That thing looks almost normal!

MUST GET.


DID GET.



Psiquic powers are known to do that on occasion.


Thanks to everyone in the LP Group who suggested this… though if it is a reference to something… I don’t get it.

Anywho…



Aren’t you worried about the… err… hypothermia?


Oh god not like that Brrrd…


And I crave a Brrrd unscarred by your Pokemon.


Damn straight I am.


This creek sure is grand, is it not?


WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-


Oh goddammit, of course the damned currents brought me here.

Moron.


You’re going to regret that…


Brrrd doesn’t wish to sully himself by touching an inferior member of his species so…


Yeah.


It’s what currents do, it’s their thing.


I… WHY DOES THIS EVEN EXIST?


Apparently to be killed by Roco. Nice.


Wait, more than one of a single Pokemon? This isn’t going to be boring or tedious at all!


EXCITING AS HELL!


STILL ENJOYING MYSELF!


I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE TO GET THIS MUCH ENJOYMENT FROM A SINGLE ACT!


**** your Tincrabs.


WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


That’s it? Damn, and I was having so much fun.


I guess there could be fun stuff in this part of the ocean…

It’s still better than Band Ambar.



D’awww… he thinks he’s a ship.


Hey, hold on a second. I don’t want anyone craqshing into me ever.


I’m sort of in front of you already, Einstein.


It’s not quite as funny as it is… murdery.


…yeah I don’t think so.



…great craqshing skills there.


You want me to cut your ribs!? What are you, a masochist?


Well at least I zumbuffled you.


Err… hey…

Does this guy have short term memory loss or what?

[NOTE: I DIDN’T TAKE SCREENSHOTS OF THE UPCOMING AREAS BECAUSE THERE WASN’T MUCH INTERESTING STUFF HAPPENING, OKAY BYE.]


Oh man… more ocean.


And yet more ocean, who could’ve imagined.


And even more boring ocea-

Oh **** it’s a ship!

You have to love that alliteration.


Wait, what? You mean this is the S.S. Anne?

How the hell did it get here?


It sure doesn’t look like it should be able to float, what with the massive damage to its hull and all.


So the name isn’t just a crazy coincidence?


You go on and do that, crazy ship-woman.


CURSE YOU CORNA AND YOUR DELICIOUS TRASH!


Wow, stationary. I couldn’t have done without that…


Everyone, meet John “My Name is John” Johnson, he works in the Department Of Redundancy Department.



I blame Baro.


Wait… we’re fighting now? What is this nonsense?


TALK LIKE A PERSON.



CURRENTS DON’T WORK THAT WAY!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

I’m… okay now. Everything is… okay…

Or not.


Maybe I could get TEH-PRO to break through?


Well it was worth a try, wasn’t it?


Well… thanks for that.


Yeah I’m just going to walk away now.


Good, I might need this if anything… bad… happens.


Well that’s just swell.

And creepy.


Hey wait, whatever happened to the captain going down with his ship?


Wait a second… there’s something fishy about that…

WAIT! I’VE GOT IT!


Oh yay, things that work best underwater.


Don’t you mean…


?



I can’t deny that.


How would I know what a Scanner looks like?


All I’ve found on this ship are horrible truths and cheap crap, so good luck.


The power of teamwork is never enough when in the face of Steven’s wrath.


I NEED HELP!


Hey, that is pretty okay! OKAY!



Won’t you guys ever learn? It’s…


Well maybe Professor Monkfish should consider hiring some people with more interest in his work?


A… a lever? Shouldn’t it be a crowbar?


Holy crap, how the hell is this ship not at the bottom of the ocean?


Funny how there aren’t any bodies…

It’s almost as if… somebody ate them.


And my Pokemon still haven’t mastered the art of breaking down doors, even though they can smash rocks into little bits… splendid.


Wow, those things are very… shiny.

It just occurred to me – how am I seeing any of this, aren’t we underwater in a wrecked ship? How are the lights still worki- screw it, logic doesn’t belong in Corna.


Wow, something worthwhile in here, I never would have imagined.


Shiny keys, you’ve got to love them.


That’s typically how keys are used.


That information was horribly useful.


Awesome! I wonder what attack that TM i-


Oh…


There sure are a lot of keys just lying around in here…


But how do I know that until I try and sell it?


I AM THE KEYMASTER, ALL WILL BOW DOWN TO ME!


You can’t deny my abilities, I’m the goddamn Keymaster.


But how do I know this? For all I know I could have just picked up a lead pipe…


I guess it is the Scanner then.

Or no one knows what a Scanner is, and he’s just tired of looking…


Isn’t that his job…?




CROWBAR. I used my goddamn CROWBAR.


Oh ****.


Gwoo…


…yes somehow I’m able to still get in.


This one’s just going to be another horrible disappointment, isn’t i-


HELL YES!

Now who to teach this to-


Holy **** no.


Goodbye Technicolor Beam, we had some good times but… it’s about time you retired – we’ll all miss you.


Goodbye ship, I would prefer never to see you again.

Seriously, screw you ship.


The ocean’s particularly blue today, isn’t it?


I vaguely recall something about the Broke Sea, but I can’t quite remembe-


Hmm… what’s this?

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