Pokémon Quartz – #48

UPDATE 48

Ugh… I guess I had better get going to this ‘Ditch Sea’, we can’t let business mechanics expand the sun with… science I suppose.

Why do they call this the Ditch Sea though?

Oh… it’s a trench. Trenches are sort of like ditches.

Clever?

How the **** did nature produce something that regular? It’s almost as if someone made the whole trench…

Oh god Baro.

At least I can get out of this goddamn country now.

Too much what, exactly – phone? Ketchup?

I would assume they used the same gaping rectangular hole we did.

That’s one thing we have in common, I guess. Now let’s just open this thing and-

There’s no door… How… how did Band Ambar get in there, then?

Well as long as they aren’t forbidden, I guess we’ll be fine.

Why did I even read this – it’s not as if it would make sense even if I did understand the damned alphabet.

Goddamn ancient Cornians and your cryptic writings…

It’s a good thing no one made these rooms forbidden or we would never get inside.

And this interests me in what way?

What… what is this nonsense? How can this thing feed itself with a mouth that small? What does it feed on insanity or something?

Too much… salt on your fries?

…good job keeping me out of the room that we are now standing in, soldier.

Oh god please stop grunting.

Damn those naturally occurring puzzles.

By who? YOU?

Bulging muscles or not, bunnies can’t stand against Roco.

…to have a puppy?

Yeah, that Chaos God likes his rooms warm and fordibben.

…Tim?

Why would this scare Tim, though?

Almost everything can be solved with some RAGE OF THE DRAGON.

Oh god, his mouth is only on one side of his face.

Oh god, the worm with half a mouth is in love with UNHOLYbear.

At least I don’t have to look at it anymore…

WHY WILL NO ONE SPEAK IN COMPLETE SENTENCES?

Well… good luck with all of that, I guess.

Hmmm?

This is kind of creepy…

WILL THIS HALLWAY NEVER END?

Jesus hell… it’s been like half an hour…

Might as well turn back and find another way. I wonder how long it will take me to get-

Back?

Wait, what? What is this?

I dont-

I mean I just can’t-

…moving on.

There sure are a lot of completely natural rock formations in this place.

Yep, nothing at all suspicious about anything at all here.

Err… W-T-F?

SOMEBODY FROM BAND AMBAR REMEMBERS ME.

But for how long?

My name isn’t ‘fro what you did’, crazy lady.

You and what army?

That… doesn’t make any sense in a scientific context.

Let’s see how your ‘army’ does against mine, shall we?

Word.

I think we all know what this calls for…

Yeah – that.

I assure you that it did happen, and is likely to happen once more if you don’t start talking like a person.

That’s its power? The power to frighten? So it doesn’t maim, dismember, or do anything else at all intimidating?

…Amber is the sister of the Chaos God? Or is your English getting worse?

But not before I enjoy the spectacle, right?

THESE DOORS MAKE NO SENSE.

Oh, but this happened:

Wait, what?

…why did Brrrput on a rooster mask?

…and why is he a toaster?

Well as long as I’m being tossed around by the doors I’d might as well stock up.

Damn the Cornian economy.

And we’re back.

Look at me taking the right way for a change.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

…I think I’ll stick to the side for now.

I’m on a roll with these good decisions.

Did… did I just descend several thousand feet?

Damn you, naturally occurring puzzles!

But I still triumph.

It just occurred to me… why am I not burning alive right no-

…better to avoid thoughts like that…

Rayquaza?

Because a lot of statues can float rest on lava without melting.

I see no ‘Chaos God’…

Heat chaos?

Also, apparently in Corna all myths are true…

Did you not once consider hiring a scientist to make sure your plan made sense?

Because you are ****ing insane. And I want to know how to get into the sub.

Err… care to punctuate that erroneous statement?

I guess she doesn’t like having her grammar corrected.

Holy crap, what the hell is wrong with your leg? It’s all… twisted around.

He is a pro…

…a pro at poisoning, that is.

We will remember your sacrifice, comrade.

You’re just prolonging the inevitable, Amber.

You also made it much worse for yourself…

Oh look, it’s not a Pokeball.

…so that’s how we’re playing it…

Well Roco can play this game better.

You keep thinking that.

You expect to command the God of Chaos with a cane… Are you mad?

I know, I know – stupid question.

Your cane has cleared the fog, great job.

Oh, not this again…

Hey did the Chaos God move?

Apparently it did.

And apparently it doesn’t much care for Amber and her silly cane.

He isn’t a dog, Amber… He’s more like some sort of Eldritch Abomination, if Corna has taught me anything.

…exactly what you should have expected?

…alright?

…it was a stone cane, what did you expect?

Who knew that amplifying the sun would make it hotter? Not I, surely.

…do you guys regularly bash your heads with bats or what?

…banana?

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…yeah, that.

It’s your funeral. Where I will dance on your grave.

Wait, who’s talking right now?

WHO IS SAYING WHAT?

Stop trying to deny the sun, it’s silly.

IT IS A STONE ROD, IT DOES NOTHING.

No, I’m pretty sure World is fine, it’s just Corna that’s ****ed.

…where did they even come from?

WE WILL NEVER PARLEY WITH GRAN’S ARMIES, WE WILL HAVE THEIR LAND.

I sincerely hope you mean heat stroke, I would hate to imagine someone tallying all the cells experiencing heat shock…

Yeah, I can’t imagine the pay being that great either.

…I’m so tired of you whining on about that damned cane.

What’s with all the emphasis?

Because the sun is drastically affecting this chamber filled with molten lava…

No, I think I’ll find my own way-

Oh god what is all this?

MY EYES!

That it is, that it is…

ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU DOOMED ALL OF CORNA.

Wait… it’s her fault… but she shouldn’t blame herself?

Because all myths are true, y’know.

If it had actually happened there would be some sort of record so you wouldn’t have to actually search for it, now would you?

STOP RELYING ON CANES TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMS.

Like… the ocean?

What makes you so certain?

…why will no one finish their sentences?

Err… before I answer that… where the hell did you come from?

…the sun’s actually the same size – just amplified…

…the hell? HOW OLD IS THIS GUY?

Why are you speaking aloud and not looking at me?

Stop with the info dump, it’s not normal…

Alright… bye – I guess.

I believe I asked that question fir-

But… you don’t even know who I am…

And another leaves without knowing whether I have a way off this island or not.

Oh god.

Amber and Annie went to get that.

This is going to be ****ing hilarious.